MY FIRST AND LAST LOVE...DAY 21

My first and last love...Well let's see we met my first year at a Community College..I was 18 and he was 19..he was in my math class..I did not pay attention to him much...but it seem he was watching me and even following me...I kinda of blocked a lot of folks out at this time in my life because I truly was not where I wanted to be...I was totally bummed out at the fact that I had to settle for Community College over the University I really wanted to go too...(but that is another story..told in my high school year blog)...So all I wanted to do was get though this year...I tried to keep to myself but for some reason every where I turned it was always someone trying to talk to me..sit with me in the study hall and it was always some knuckle headed boy...Well any way this one day I forgot my math book and I tearing up my bag in class trying to find it...As I was getting up to leave the class...the boy that was watching me all of this time grabbed my hand and said don't leave you can share with me...Can we say lifesaver because we had a final exam coming up and I could not miss that class..not on that day..After class I thanked him and proceeded to leave school for the day...I did not have a car back then..I took the bus every where..As I was standing at the bus stop waiting on my bus here comes this black Ford Escort pulling up and it was HIM again..I am thinking at this point What the Hell does he want now!!..I mean he was cute but cute was not amusing to me at that point of my life..I had cute before..Cute play not so cute games...He ask if I needed a ride and I said No I got it..he pulled off..HOW RUDE...he did not even try to convince me more...ASS HOLE...A week pasted by..things were kinda of quiet in the class...this one day it was raining hard outside...I HATED days like this when I had to go stand at the bus stop...I am standing out there getting drenched...the umbrella I had was full of shit that day..flipping all up and down...Just as I was about to win the fight with the umbrella guess who pulls up HIM...He started laughing and said come on get in I will take you home...At this point I did not care if Jack the Ripper was in that car I was getting in and I did...He grabbed a towel from his back seat and went to wipe my face...I looked at him like I can do it Thank you..I was such a hard head back then (thinking back)...he started up a conversation we talked about a lot in that 20 minutes...As he pulled up to my house he asked I would love to see you again not just in math class..I have been wanting to ask you this for a long time but I thought you had someone because you were so distance..I was like what am I suppose to be falling all over every cute guy I see and stares at me..He was like no when you said you did not want a ride the other day I thought it was because you had a boyfriend..I told him never assume especially when it comes to me..just ask..he said noted..We exchanged numbers and from that day on we were inseparable ..We talked so much on the phone we fell asleep...He took me everywhere with him and of course I never had to catch the bus again..he taught me how to drive and even bought me my first car...He bought me Roses almost every time we saw each other..he was my first real experience to a romantic date..The first place we moved in together with was his first...He knew of my past and he still wanted to be with me...Speeding up the story a bit like years later (It's a lot to our story believe me)...My first love was my first everything...We ended up getting married..had two kids together and bought our first house together ..I will always cherish my memories with him and the friendship we shared and the gift of life we gave each other...We fought a lot..cried a lot..loved a lot and to this day I can say he is still the only man besides my father I truly trust with my life...We will always have a connection no matter where we are and who we are with...We did more than just love..we grew and learned..But I get this feeling with Grand kids in our future the journey is not over yet...

THE MEMORES OF MY CHILDHOOD..DAY 20

Though a child's eyes....my special childhood moments

     
 

MY FAVORTE DAY OF THE WEEK...DAY 19

 BOOM!!!...The picture says it all...This day right here THURSDAY always brings me some relief...Don't ask because I really don't know..maybe because it brings me closer to the end of a long hard busy week...I know after this day comes my next favorite day...THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY!!!...The End

THE LAST DAY OF AN ADULT JOB..DAY 18..

This is a very interesting topic...What makes it so interesting is I don't have anything to say...no real memory comes to mind because I been on my own since I was 17 years old...At what point do you say this is my real adult job...because I have had so many jobs...they all were adult jobs to me..I had to survive..LOL Now if we talk about dream jobs...I can pinpoint that one..LOL..So yeah Kiwi this one is for you...**

THE DAY I MADE A DIFFERENCE..DAY 17

I have been told I made a difference in someone's life more than a couple of times...and I continue to do more with each breath I take..but the one day that stood out for me was the day I decided to make a difference or try to at least...The day I went back to where the journey started for me..Vista Maria School and Girls Home...When I graduated from High school I never thought I would step back on that campus again...I was in community college in the middle of my second year when I ran into one of my old Social Worker...She was an ad visor at my school...We talked and caught up..she mention how proud she was of me for continuing my education ..She told me about a mentor program at Vista Maria and how she was still involved in it...They were having a scholarship banquet and she asked me how did I feel about being one of the guest speakers..She thought I could be the positive the girls needed...the HOPE she called it...LOL Funny I never thought of myself as hope for anyone..I needed it myself...But I agreed to do it...Did not know what I was going to say but I knew I would think of something...LOL I thought about writing the same old speech type thing...but at the last hour I decided to just be me...I started with my background and left very little details of the pain...by the time I finished there wasn't a dry eye in the room including mines...these girls needed to hear something from someone that was just like them and that was me...After I was done most of the girls rushed me with questions...me being on my own and still struggling intrigued them...We got so caught up in talking they did not want me to leave...They treated me like a star...I enjoyed that feeling so much I knew that I would from that day forward try to make a difference in some girls life always...I left that campus with such an overwhelming feeling...it turns out the difference I was to make in them turned out to be the difference they made in me...

THE MOMENT I FELT YOU..DAY 16

My Sunshine..My Sunrise...(Ode to Michael)

• They say when the moon fades away and the sun rise...this is when you will experience sunshine..Well not for me..I have my own sunshine and he is with my all the time...Just to think he almost did not make it...My second born child..my angel..my precious boy....The moment I started carrying him I knew he would be a special child and it was confirmed once he was born...Once he was born...let's talk about that for a minute...I was about five and a half months pregnant and I just got back from my honeymoon and there was this first class envelope in my mailbox...When I opened it was from my doctor's office..I instantly became terrified and started cramping..I opened it fast and it said the doctor needed to see me in his office ASAP....I immediately called to make an appointment the next day...We got to the doctor's office and he told me that my blood test came back with some abnormal cells..something about more white than red or extra chromosome or something like that...I was like at this point get to it Damn-it ..My Husband ask what does this mean?...The doctor said your baby looks like he may have Down Syndrome ..I was like WHAT...and this idiot immediately says if that is the case we can't have it...I looked at him like who's body is this...I don't think we are having anything..it's me..my body..He was like if we have a baby with problems it will cost a lot of money to take care of it..I told him and the doctor at the same time so I wouldn't have to repeat myself..I am having this baby..with or without you ..and then I looked at the doctor and said you just need to tell me what I need to do...The doctor said it has not even been confirmed this is what it is..we have to do more test...I needed an amniocentesis, which involves inserting a needle into a pregnant woman's belly to sample cells from the fluid bathing her fetus...Let's get started..I didn't even think about the pain of a needle in my stomach..I was too worried about my child...They had to do an ultrasound first to see where the fetus was and in seeing that not only did we find out it was a boy...we also fond out my placenta had separated from him and was on the side of my tummy...the did the test..and a week later the results came in and it came back good..no signs of down syndrome..GOOD..BUT!!..the placenta was an issue..he wanted to keep watching it during the rest of my pregnancy .he said sometimes it moves back in place...a couple of months later and three more ultra sounds the placenta did not move back in place it moved further over my uterus and once it was totally over my uterus he placed me on bed rest...Now mind you I had a three year old at home with me also...There is NO WAY I could stay off my feet...and I didn't and I started bleeding every where..Good thing their father was home when major clots were coming out of me...He called the ambulance and they got me to the hospital just in time...It seem little man man was ready to come out...and he was breached (Feet first)...But he was not fully developed...the doctor said we have to try and keep him in you as long as possible..I had to stay in the hospital for 4 weeks..each week they did an amniocentesis to check his lung...They made me stay in that hospital until I was exactly nine months and because of the placenta and him coming out feet first I had to get a c-section...The day came when my baby boy was about to be born..I was excited but scared...this pregnancy was something different then my first child..it felt different...everything..I was scared but also happy...It wasn't until he was about to start pre-school that I found out how special he really is

THE DAY I GRADUATED...DAY 15

Besides my high school graduation this was not only the most exciting day but the most important day of my life...This is where the old me flew out my body as the new me flew in...From this point on I would never be the same again...My child hood woes were behind me (not forgotten just placed a side) and it was time to move forward...I just received my College Degree and at this point...I felt like I could take on the world...It was a long journey but I did it...Even though it took me years to finish the point is I did...My children was my biggest inspiration to getting it done..Something about being a mother made me want to be more..do more..I needed to set a better example for them then what was set for me...I needed to make their lives much better than mine and the only way to do that was starting with getting my degree...My children was with me as I walked across the auditorium stage and they watched their mother get her College Degree..That was the most exciting but fulfilling moment in my life..I knew from that point on nothing was going to ever hold me back again...