THE MOMENT I FELT YOU..DAY 16

My Sunshine..My Sunrise...(Ode to Michael)

• They say when the moon fades away and the sun rise...this is when you will experience sunshine..Well not for me..I have my own sunshine and he is with my all the time...Just to think he almost did not make it...My second born child..my angel..my precious boy....The moment I started carrying him I knew he would be a special child and it was confirmed once he was born...Once he was born...let's talk about that for a minute...I was about five and a half months pregnant and I just got back from my honeymoon and there was this first class envelope in my mailbox...When I opened it was from my doctor's office..I instantly became terrified and started cramping..I opened it fast and it said the doctor needed to see me in his office ASAP....I immediately called to make an appointment the next day...We got to the doctor's office and he told me that my blood test came back with some abnormal cells..something about more white than red or extra chromosome or something like that...I was like at this point get to it Damn-it ..My Husband ask what does this mean?...The doctor said your baby looks like he may have Down Syndrome ..I was like WHAT...and this idiot immediately says if that is the case we can't have it...I looked at him like who's body is this...I don't think we are having anything..it's me..my body..He was like if we have a baby with problems it will cost a lot of money to take care of it..I told him and the doctor at the same time so I wouldn't have to repeat myself..I am having this baby..with or without you ..and then I looked at the doctor and said you just need to tell me what I need to do...The doctor said it has not even been confirmed this is what it is..we have to do more test...I needed an amniocentesis, which involves inserting a needle into a pregnant woman's belly to sample cells from the fluid bathing her fetus...Let's get started..I didn't even think about the pain of a needle in my stomach..I was too worried about my child...They had to do an ultrasound first to see where the fetus was and in seeing that not only did we find out it was a boy...we also fond out my placenta had separated from him and was on the side of my tummy...the did the test..and a week later the results came in and it came back good..no signs of down syndrome..GOOD..BUT!!..the placenta was an issue..he wanted to keep watching it during the rest of my pregnancy .he said sometimes it moves back in place...a couple of months later and three more ultra sounds the placenta did not move back in place it moved further over my uterus and once it was totally over my uterus he placed me on bed rest...Now mind you I had a three year old at home with me also...There is NO WAY I could stay off my feet...and I didn't and I started bleeding every where..Good thing their father was home when major clots were coming out of me...He called the ambulance and they got me to the hospital just in time...It seem little man man was ready to come out...and he was breached (Feet first)...But he was not fully developed...the doctor said we have to try and keep him in you as long as possible..I had to stay in the hospital for 4 weeks..each week they did an amniocentesis to check his lung...They made me stay in that hospital until I was exactly nine months and because of the placenta and him coming out feet first I had to get a c-section...The day came when my baby boy was about to be born..I was excited but scared...this pregnancy was something different then my first child..it felt different...everything..I was scared but also happy...It wasn't until he was about to start pre-school that I found out how special he really is

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• He was diagnose with Autism and I would not say it has been a struggle..because he is the very obident  child and he has a very good heart..If it was not for him being in my life..I think I would be crazy...I cannot express enough how happy he has made my life...God told me to keep him and I did because I felt he would be something special...A lot of people did not have a lot of faith in him because of his Autism but he made everyone around him stronger...everyday he pushes himself to the limit to succeed...

• Today as a young man he has graduated from high school with honors...Enrolled in a Alternative College school and he has a job working in the hospital helping people..making their day...He is such  a pleasure and such sunshine he brings to this family and everyone that gets to know him...My baby has become a role model to his peers...I remember a prophet told me once he has an angel following him watching over him and I believe it too because his spirit just glows...his life completes me..it's lifts me up...The day I had my baby boy would be the day I learned how to forgive...Watching him try so hard to be successful each day makes me want to be a better person for me and him...My Sunrise..My Sunshine...