Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Awake..you've slept too long..(Pt. Three)


Trying to write this story in one shot back to back seems to be harder then I thought it would be even though I am not giving every little detail about me and him I am trying to give you a nice picture of what it was I went though in this situation. As I stated in Part 2 the love I had for this man was unreal in my own and anyone for that matter definition of what love should of been..no one should ever give themselves to a person the way I gave to this man..no one... I continued to try to be the best person and woman I could for this man because I was raised to stick it though once you set a commitment you see it thru to the deadly end...this is a Fucked up way to raise a child just horrible..it sets them up for failure to some degree. I gave to this man something he could never and would never give to me and that was Self..I gave all of me to get back nothing but grief and internal pain that continues to haunt me to this day. I started suspecting other things with him at this point that was outside of the Internet but I was so caught up in the disrespectful things that was taking place on his page and the pages he tried to hide from me I did not focus a whole lot on the nudge I was getting outside that PC telling me GIRL you got bigger problems then this...I started forcing the issue of us spending more time together and me meeting his family..I mean DAMN it was over a year. We fought all the time over stupid little stuff he became real snappy with me, He started sending me PUNKASS texts telling me he was unhappy and he did not think he was right for me..see he always called himself getting brave behind technology...this is where he do not have to show his true ugly face. I was not accepting that punk ass shit..he owed me more then a text and IM..you want to break it off with me come to me and tell me as a MAN (you say you are) suppose to be and talk to me give me a reason some closure so I can move on (THE TRUTH)..so we went thru this merry go round of him trying to ease away from me but still not going anywhere for a while. See my problem with this is because I know most of you are saying why play this game let this coward motherfucker GO.. See I am a stubborn ass woman and I needed to know why and the real reason he wanted to let this relationship just go..because my gut just told me he is so full of shit...I just really wanted to bust him on his shit..Yeah I did..PLUS I really was in love with this fool and you all know how we do when we are in love we get stupid. After a while he started trying to work it out again with me and the issue was dropped but we still was having some issue with this Internet thing it was like he was addicted to the shit and got a BIG attitude if anything was mentioned...Which everyone knows that shows GUILT big time so me suspecting him never went away never..I said to myself this Nigga is the type that has to be taught a hard ass lesson not a soft quiet one..a hard LOUD one. Once school started to really jump off he started to use this excuse to distance himself along with him spending time with his children..he use that excuse like water man for real at this point I started to care and not care because it was one lie after another after another like he had some type of sickness..but the love was still there I started to become drained with him but could not let him go...very weird. He would come over but the visit started to change he would sit at a distance and no matter how sexy I looked and smell I would be all in his face he would try his best not to touch me which did not work..because come on all this ass I got your going to hit it unless your gay..LOL I knew then he was seeing someone else because there was no way you go from craving the pussy to avoiding it for no fucking real good reason at all and I was right I mean he even started to kiss me different...I suspected someone on the Internet first like on that damn friendlist of his so I decided to play a little game myself. I got with a cousin of mine from out of town and clued her in on something I was trying to do..of course she was all in to help her big cousin out she created a page and befriend him..and of course like a lot of men he fell for the big butt and a smile. I let her chat with him for a while so he could get a comfortable feeling towards her but she started to get mad because she was telling and showing me what he was saying and she got very upset that he was disrespecting me the way he was doing first saying he was single then how he was trying to act like me and him just broke up and he was just being my friend to ease my feelings from him. So she did not want to play anymore because she wanted to cuss his lying ass off bad..so I took over the role and cont. the chats as her. He never knew the difference we would talk for hours all during the day of course during normal people work hours (because he was unemployed you know but telling people online he was a salesman..a salesman alright..he sold decent). It took all I had not to bust his ass because as me as her he was flirting with her..I started flirting with him just to see if he would do it back and he did..BOY I was heated he wanted to meet her and everything. He started being real cocky with the shit too..he would start coming over when it was for a purpose either money or gifts he never came over just because he wanted to see me anymore there always had to be a purpose a reason..something to do with money always...one day he started talking about how he needed a laptop for school how he was not able to keep up with his homework using other people's computer..so of course my dumb ass trying to help this fool that was clearly dogging me help him get one..we would watch the shopping network and stop in office supply places trying to find a good deal...then one day he called me and told me he had a laptop his Godmother gave it to him. I was like she just gave you a laptop just like that and he went into it was used and she wanted to help me with school and everybody knew how bad i was trying to get one...Now you know that was BULLSHIT but I let it go and did not push at it. As time went on it was up and down for me and him still having this major issue with the Internet..One day I went on his page like I do every morning to put my Hugs and Smiles on his page I seen another woman on there calling him Baby and some other stuff I ask him about it and the fight began and at this point I was already fed up with this nigga knowing his DDay was coming I told him you know what do you and I hung up and started deleting my page...while in the middle of me removing shit I get a message from one of his friends on his list telling me she knows I am upset with him but I need to know that he does love me. I was like what the hell is this..I replied back asking her you know about me and him and she said yes and she also knows that the comments the women on his page have been making is upsetting to me also. I was knocked the hell over with what she was saying.. I ask her to move the convo to the IM window and I found out this woman was a true friend to him and he actually talked about me to her I was out done. Out done I say because he so tried to hide us to the Internet and to the real world I never could imagine he actually mention my name and us being a couple to anyone. Me and this woman started to become friends since he had been telling her about us anyway I felt I could talk to her about the things that bothered me about him and our so called relationship..Shit I needed someone that truly understood what I was going thru just so I could vent...over time me and this woman became such good friends she started to see me and see HIM in a different light she started noticing things that I had refuse to see and admit because I was too into it with him. Like for instance he told me he wanted to go visit his family out of town and that he was going to leave for a week and go out there..well while he was out there he talked to me the whole train ride there and we set it up where i would be picking him up when he got back but once he got there the story changed... the first day he called but after that he would go for hours not answering a text or a call and as we women know our intentions about things started to kick in.. I was talking to our girlfriend and informed her of what was going on and when he did call back he would give me some storyline 0f how in some places out there you cant get a signal..just lying. She listen to what I said and then she told me "Honey I hate seeing you go thru this let me tell you something Don't let that man treat you like some Hoe"..there is no excuse for him not to call you back and too take hours to get back to you is unacceptable. She texts him and ask him if he was out there seeing another woman he replied back to her and told her he was not and answered back like he was offended she would even ask him something like that. As me and her chatted more she told me she had somethings she wanted to ask me and thought this was a good time to ask because she was seeing this man she thought was a friend to her in a different light I mean she thought of him as her little brother. She asked me if I knew she sent a laptop to him..I was like WHAT...she said yeah I sent him a laptop a while ago to help him out with school. I told her no he told me he got the laptop from his Godmother...she was boiling she was like why would he lie about something like that...it was a stupid ass lie and not called for...she said me and him do not have anything going on but a friendship and I sen him the laptop because I have so many and I told him he could use it while he was in school. Well since he lied about that she went on to ask me about Christmas and if he got me anything..I told her no because we both had decided because he was not working we would not exchange gifts..she paused and then told me she had helped him with Christmas also she sent his children some clothes and she sent him some gifts certificates to places to eat and she told him to use at least one of them to take me out.... NOT I never heard about any of this stuff she was talking about and you would think after all the stuff I was doing for him he would of thought enough to say I should do something special for this girl after all she has been there for me..I mean if we did go out who do you think paid for everything..it was not a issue but I should of made it one. She then told me listen if he can go out and get him Subway and Chinese and this and that he can buy you a card..she then told me he was using me and I needed to rethink this relationship with him because he was a user and now she was ready to get her laptop back from him because he lied to her also. She told me she thought she was helping a friend in need as I thought I was helping my MAN get back on his feet because she helped him and I helped him and his mother..sister and so on..this man had so much support from women no wonder he knows nothing about being a MAN. He was a pity hustler he played on that to get good women with great hearts to support his sorry ass. She also informed me that he asked her how far Kansas was because he had a friend out there...now me and her thinking and talking about this all while he was on his so called trip to see his family... anyway she said right after he said that a woman that was on his friendlist kept popping on her page making comments and when she replied back she noticed she was from Kansas..and then she noticed some of the things she said on his page..she just threw that out there for me so I started watching her and soon after that she started popping on my page also. Go figure he ask..he went and she appeared..LOL it don't even matter anymore.. because the next part is a bigger fish to fry. Stay Tuned

4 comments:

As the Budda Flows said...

girl what a damn dawg...smh

Anonymous said...

Whew!! Sounds even more like the man I met online. Always begging. When I asked to meet his family he freaked. But this is a little different. He is supposed to be single, sharing a house with his cousin,and brother. Had 2 Sisters who are now deceased and Mother deceased. He and his Dad do not get along, but yet and still "his family needs him". I fell for him too, because of the love he shows for family, among other things! He said he had kids from previous marriage, only to find out he uses that to get money! For some reason he never holds a job long. He is always talking about relocation. Things get stolen from him, only to find out he pawns them. I will not go into the details of our relationhip. This is really a small world. All of your story sounds just like AJ.

BE Lauriette said...

I caught a couple of flash backs from my lost love on this one Diva. This was so hard to read. I cringed at some of the deceiving and lying that was taking place. My goodness...why do some men run from accountability? they refuse to own up. And some men are SO against closure. They love to leave things hanging there where you feel horrible about how things ended. I'm right here with you girl. Love you sis!

Thee_Kween said...

Yea, a lot of this is reading back to me as my own stuff. If I told you HALF of the stuff I've gone through in just 3yrs, you'd be like...wow. What in the damned Devil.

I'll be waiting for 4! lol