Awake..you've slept too long..(Pt. Six)

He started acting weird again and I was trying to ignore it but really could not, I was scared and pissed at the same time knowing it was some shit he was not telling me. After that mess came out about him having that outside relationship with the woman over the net he started to change some but it was kind of different this time it was almost like he wanted to tell me something but could not..he would always start and then stop with I will try. I tried to help him bring it out with asking all kinds of crazy questions leaving the door open so he could just walk on in and every time he would just back away from it. But me being the Ass I knew I could be I was not finishing his shit for him..I wanted him to flat out MAN the fuck up and just say it whatever it was. So I continue to push the relationship as business as usually until he got TRIED of playing the games because really deep down I knew it was over a long time ago but he was not getting off that easy..FUCK IT. So anyway we met for lunch one day he had started doing some sales on the side which I was helping him with getting orders for him and this would be my excuse to see him on a regular because we had this business thing going...(Damn shame..SMDH)..and after we ate he walked me back to my car and we sat there for a while just talking and of course as always I make the first move like I did most of the relationship and I ask him what is it that you want..do you really want to do this thing because I feel a distance with you and something is not right. He goes into saying that this not having a job thing has got him in some type of depression and he feels like he wants to do things BAD things but don't want to and he just feels he need to be by himself but then on the flip side he said he really do not want to be alone.. (OK can we say CONFUSION) he started talking about how he wants to just leave and go out of state but cant because the kids and his family got this hold on him and then he says (get this one ladies) he really feels he needs to stop having SEX..now you know my head whip around and said to him WTH are you talking about you must really want to break up you can't decide nothing like that when two people are involved without including the other party. Now we all know when a man brings something like that up there is a couple of things going on.. he gay..he married.. or he wants to break up and can't do it and wants you to do it for him. I mean we have been having sex for damn near two years and all the shit you did while in the relationship all pertain to sex in some way and now you want to stop BULLSHIT just say what it is you want to say and stop fucking around with I need time BULLSHIT...so me of course being the Ass since he was not going to flat out break up with me I made him suffer by acting like what he said did not phase me and continued on but on my end..check this out. I started seeing other people..FUCK IT this motherfucker really did not know what he had..not bragging but guys hit on me all the time and they all had jobs and with nice head game also SHIT and waited for the chance to get with me even though they knew I was fucking around with this fool. As some of you all that know me and can see from my pictures I am not a ugly chick by far and I can dress and walk my ass off in some heels with an intelligent mind to seal the deal..and smell as sweet as honey (guys go crazy over my hair..eyes, lips, thighs, ass and hips..LOL I 'm tripping) I started seeing this one guy and he was nice and all and we even had sex it was good BUT get this I thought about HIM the whole time I was with him..ain't that some shit so I decided I was not going to go there and bring some innocent person in some shit that needs to be totally finished. So I continued to play this merry go round with this fool (see the tune of the story is changing) and every weekend it had started becoming more excuses why he could not come by and spend time with me..he would make plans at the beginning of the week on when and what day he would be over and then like either the day before or that morning some tragic shit in his life would happen and he could not make it and he would pacifier me with calling and checking on me all day..like I was stupid or some shit. I was on the other end doing my own shit he only THOUGHT I was spending it alone waiting around on him... (Scorpios are always one step ahead on game) I met this cable man from when I was getting some new stuff installed and he was all on my shit so bad I let him get my number just in case you never know..LOL but anyway this man did not want to do anything but eat my pussy..he was a Jamaican and he would come over lick and suck the shit out of my clit and leave..(NO LIE) I was like cool some side head game because on the flip side he had started slacking off on doing that shit and where he once would be down there on my ass for an hour or so he went to like 20 minutes or nothing at all on the oral (which was my shit first and foremost)..but I still suck the shit out of his dick until he exploded in my mouth and screaming my damn name.. I love that shit..oral game was what I played VERY well I can suck the skin off the head of a dick and still want more after I taste those juices I really would go into a zone on a dick doing that shit..he was weak for that shit..(most men were). Anyway my Birthday was approaching now remember the year before we did the weekend thing (Mmmm) I really wanted to see what he was going to do this year and with all the shit that was going on I wanted to see if he was going to come thru and make good with it. So all week he talked about how he was going to spend the whole day with me and he was going to spend the night and everything..so the day came I was kinda of excited and all..I made sure my hair, nails, feet and body was on point and tight. He came over we had a romantic dinner and we made love and he made love to me just like he use to when we first met..I crave that gentle shit he had going on with me when he put his lips down there and sucked and licked me into 3 to 4 orgasms..(DAMN Flashbacks)..if he did not do anything else he was right on point with that shit right there. I love to nibble and lick all around and in his ear..drove him crazy..I would ease down licking his body all the way to the tip as his dick was standing up awaiting my moist mouth so he may enter it..I would suck him..sliding up and down as he grab my ass and called my name I would moan as I had his dick in my wet mouth and it would make his screams loud..that shit made my pussy drip..he would enter my wet hole with his fingers and pump them in and out and shake the juices out with his fat fingers (MMMM that shit felt good as hell) that shit made my body jump.. He would kiss my neck..my back..my ass..I loved it and then he would ride the shit out my ass until he exploded..we would do it so hard that day we both were sweating and shit after. As we would lay there I told him how much I loved him and he would tell me that he really did love me too he also told me he was in love with me..so when he went into shit like that it made my heart melt..my yearning for a gentle loving man made me accept bullshit from those that really was not worthy of my love. But then we had to get up and out of the bed and live with the real fucking truth about our relationship..that it was a pure fucking JOKE. He did not have any money (he claimed) to buy me a gift once more BUT all I really wanted was us back..back to where we were before all this extra bullshit in between the years. I wanted his time and he was giving it to me until after laying and fucking and sucking and just chilling he told me he could not stay all night because his mother was watching his kids and he only gets them on the weekends and she did not want to keep them all night like that and he promised them he would spend time with them too..I was so use to this shit he always had some major goody shit when he needed to stay away from me..you know my Bday and you had pently of time to make arrangements if nothing else for this day..its not like we spend a whole lot of time together anyway..so at that moment my reality with him started to set in and my eyes at that point starting seeing things that I was blind to all of this time with him. I let him go and I spent the rest of my Birthday night alone..and I really at that point did not want anyone around me anyway..I was so disappointed and hurt when he left...he kept calling me thru out the night but it was not comforting to me..he even changed his background on his page for most of the day with my picture on it for all to see and emailed me a poem he did for me thru ecards...still not comforting..I started reflecting on all the bullshit excuses he made to me thru the 2 years and noticed a straight up pattern..I remember at one point early in the relationship asking him if he was really divorced and he sent me a copy of the papers..because something was not right and I even remember having a dream he lived with a woman..all of this was starting to come at me strong for some reason and why was it coming now and not before..so I sat on it and waited and watched the events to come and I waited..I was reflecting (that's what happens when you spend a lot of time alone) he knew something was up with me because I started asking a lot of questions and started being kinda of distanced like not happy mood when I talked to him..I had a lot of shit on my mind and your name was a big part of it.. so I watched waited and did things to see what he would do...like I noticed my house got broken in to twice since he knew me and not once did he come over to see if I was ok or what he could do to help..he called but WTF was that if your woman tells you her house got broken in to..then holidays now I did not make a big deal on us spending them with each other because I really was not ready for him to meet my family or kids anyway shit was still unstable with us..and me being kinda of old school when a man dates a woman he does the introducing of his family first..he choose his mate when he does that and then she opens her whole world unto him. Then it was the moments when he would call me from the car or just leaving from somewhere..and the quick under your breath I love you too..I would say I love you to make him say it back where ever he was (Shit I was your woman right)..calling me from the basement or while walking the dog or always going to the store kinda of thing. How when I did come to his mother house I never was ask to come in he always met me out side and got in my car and how when ever I had an emergency I could never get him right away..So I did somethings like I started letting him keep my car and I gave him a copy of my house and car keys (Hold up everyone this was a part of a plan)..the first incident I was, every time I wanted to go out to the bar, play pool or even go to the movies he would be all good with it until the day came to do it and he would come up with some school homework bullshit or kids (the normal shit) he would slide me in for a couple of hours if I really demanded it (a couple of hours what a fucking joke). So one night he called me after I got off work like he always did and I told him I was going to go out with my cousin or some shit..so he was like good because I got all of my kids tonight..cool Plan in motion later that night I call his phone..no answer..I texted him no answer ( he was famous for not answering his phone right away Shit)...so I texted him I need your help..thinking that would put some fire under his ass...no reply back..soooooo I waited until the early morning and I drove over to his mother's house to see if his car was there..and you guessed it NO car and this was 8:00 in the damn morning on a Sat. for someone that do not have a job...okkkkkkkkk so at that point I started blowing his shit up in text and calls back to fucking back non stop like a mad woman...and then I took a break and called his mother's house she told me he was not there and she sounded like should he be...LOL..Anyway I started driving back home still blowing his phone up on the way back across town....he finally calls me back PISSED (the nerve of this guy to get mad) talking about why you call me that many times and why you call my mother's house..and I screamed at him why when I have a problem I can never get to you..I can never find you...you are never a fucking round...Hold on to this shit..he told me he did not sleep at his mother's house that night because him and the kids went to his sister's house because she went out of town..ROFLMAO...this motherfucker believes his own shit that is why he tells it...I was like I locked my keys in my car and you are the only one that has a copy..I was out in the middle of the night and I could not get to you...your suppose to be my man and you cant even come and get me out of a jam. At that point he started questioning me like I was suspect..soooooooooo nigga you been suspect for years now. Got all mad talking about I am going to bring your keys to you now..(Now he want to act like he done with me) I was like your getting mad because I had a problem and could not get to you...we started fighting and he never came and brought me my keys and he use that excuse as he had a attitude with me to not come see me that weekend too..LOL he was the biggest baby I knew he wanted things his way even when he was in the WRONG. Instead of saying I am sorry Baby..Blah Blah Blah he went into drilling me on some third degree trip..(guilty clue number one when you know your wrong flip that shit to make it look like she is the one wrong)..NOT I had more traps to set for your ass..this was clue number one to my TRUTH..I let that one go and waited and watched and then the next Sat. he came over and we spent most of the morning together now one thing that was true his family did blow his damn phone up he could not get a damn moment in to himself for real..especially his kids and I always wondered why since the main child that blew his phone up was the one living with him (Hmmm)..she blew it up like I have not seen you in days and where you at this is our time kind of thing. Then one time his mother called him and I listen to everything he use to call me a ear hustler...LOL now get this one he said to her I called you as soon as I got up..(BINGO) why are you calling her when your suppose to be living with her...he noticed my body lanague changed and he started being all lovey with me and ate my pussy to distract that mind..NOT..it felt good though..LOL So as time went on I started watching him more close and I started investigating some shit...GOOGLE is a motherfucker if you use it right...LOL He was in suspect mode with me now and I was on a mission and had to play the part to the very end now.. I went into some deep research on that ass and the line of business I am in..I have resources to grab info on people because that is part of what I do so I used the tools I had on his ass and in doing so I pulled his name and a whole address came up that was NOT his mother's so I did not trip at first..I figured it maybe a old one maybe when he was married but I kept a mental note of that shit..sure did..LOL Then I Google some of his ID names he used..because he was good for having secret online pages pretending to be somebody other then who he was..and I found a lot of shit..he was registered on a online dating site (Pently of Fish or something like that) and I ran across a site that did themes for your cell phone that he was on..I checked that one out and guess what I found..under his old screen name and it was dated like months ago whoever it was made a request for the owner of site to do a theme and Thanked them but after the comment ended SHE (I said SHE) wrote Thanks L (that's what we will call her)..I was tripping even though it was months ago still it was under his name and it was during the time we were still together...Kept that one for a mental note also... Things at this point started falling in my lap..another weekend came and we did our normal chilling watching the TV and we always ordered out when I did not feel like cooking I was hungry and wanted him to go get it..so when he left he took my car like he always did he left his keys to his car on my counter..I went to get something to drink and noticed he had a key chain on it..I picked it up to see what was on it and it was an engraved chain with one side his name and the other side Looking forward to more Love L...I was broiling at this point but had to stay clam because losing your cool always put a stopper into what your true focus was..so when he got back we sat down and started eating and I asked him who is L? Guess what came out of his mouth...What did she call?..WTF..and why and how would she been calling me..I was like What do you mean? he was like she was a old girlfriend he use to talk to why and I said why do you feel she would call me and he went into some bullshit about how one of his ex called and tried to start some bullshit with his wife...and he thought it was happening again..well no Nigga she did not call..LOL But on the flip side why you carrying around a key chain she gave you if she is your ex? He was like he was cleaning his room and found it and he needed one and did not think much about it and just put it on his keys...(Now how he thought I believe that bullshit) and then he said this is a easy fix I will take it off your right I should not be carrying around a old girlfriend key chain..(Whatever Nigga) then I went into who was she to you he was like she was just a very good friend of his at a time he needed her to be and they still talk but not on that level anymore...(Aint that the typical Excuse Bullshit)..But me being who I was I watched that body lanague and his ass was suspect at this point he was nervous like a motherfucker..and when I did not trip on it anymore he got calm like a stream of water. So I watched and waited and watched now at this time Christmas was coming around again and the same ole song and dance from last year arrived..he started acting depressed because he claims he could not get his kids anything for Christmas and he hated this time a year..now me being who I am I cannot stand to see a child go without a Christmas because as poor as my family was growing up my mother and father always made a way for us to have something under that tree..we may have paid for it later but they did it. So my kind heart set in motion and I ask him what can I do to help he was like if I could he needed help with getting his two youngest kids a bike and he could handle the rest...I bought both of them a bike and on the day we were picking the baby's bike up on our way to get something to eat we stop at a cell phone store so he could upgrade his oldest child cell program and get one for my child... but in leaving we stop at the gas station and as he was pumping the gas he got on the phone as he thought I could not hear him from inside the car..so of course I went into ear hustling mode..LOL and I heard him telling someone how he changed the cell program and how he was just leaving from getting the bike and then he was like OK Baby and then a pause and then he was like Ok you can pick me up in about a hour or so...I was like WTF I wanted to turn my key to the car and drive off and leave his ass standing right there STUPID..when he got in the car I lost it..FUCK IT I was like who was that you were talking too..he was like my daugther I was like Bullshit saying Ok baby you can pick me up he was like you tripping I was talking to her and then she put my sister on the phone and I told her she can come grab me from my mother's house because my car is down..Blah Blah Motherfucking Blah..then I went into saying I knew you live with someone I knew it..Who the fuck was that on the phone..he was like take me home and you can take the bike back too..I was at that point cool Fuck You Bitch trying to play somebody sideways. As we were driving i was like think quick because I don't want to bust his ass like this I need more info THINK quick..it was very quiet on the way back to his mother's house (that was always the pick up and drop off point). When we got in front of the house I went into I am so sorry and I just feel like I am going crazy because I feel like your slipping away from me and I cannot stop it..BLAH BLAH BLAH and then the tears came... he looked at me and told me to stop crying and I need to stop jumping the gun all the time..(HAAAAAAA I am a good actress when I want to be) we kissed and made up (So he thought) and I dropped him off over his sister's house where ever one seemed to be at and I went on my way home thinking this motherfucker boats is slowing sunking for real. As the weeks past everything was the same nothing pretty much change but the distance between us seem to take a toll on me..I started getting use to him not being around..but I still felt the need to find out the truth...my job had a after work affair at the very place me and him had our first date and I thought it would be cool if he came since he loved playing pool early in the week I told him about it and of course like always he said he wanted to go but the day approached and he had another tradegy..(Like clockwork) But after I left the place one of my co-workers ask me if I could take her home now she lived in the same direction of his mother's house and so after I dropped her after I felt the need to just drive past his house...But on my way back on the freeway I hit a huge pop hole and got a flat tire and now I was like shit I came up and tried to find a gas station no one was to be seen no where it was late and I did not know where the hell I was so I called him and of course he did not answer so I sent him a text saying I need you now seeing we went thru this before he calls me back right away and tells me he was over his sister's house..I told him I have a flat tire and I needed to know where I was he was more concerned about why I was where I was then helping me out..I got off the phone with him and called my mother and she called a tow for me..as I sat in the gas station waiting on the truck he calls me and trys to stay on the phone with me and kept asking me if I wanted him to come...I got so annoyed at him asking me that like he wanted me to just say don't come I am alright and at that point I did not want his company because you should of just came no questions asked. The truck to so long i took my chances on just driving home on a busted tire and rim..so what I am alone and I am not risking anything happening to my kids mother....he call himself keeping me company via phone all the way home until I got home and all while he did this I was thinking I need to end this bullshit for real..I need someone that can truly be there for me when I needed them ( not some half ass for the moment comfort) or I need to be alone for real no play play shit. He never had my back when the shit was going wrong for me not like I jumped in my Wonder Woman suit in a heartbeat for him. After that night I started just making shit happen like telling him I am coming over with no warning just calling shit out and not into his phone calls much anymore..I was getting tried of this shit and he seemed very content with the shit but you know what God do not like ugly for real and he tried to warn him Nigga your shit coming to a end also..I remember one night when he did not answer his phone for hours and he went to telling me this crazy lie about his Ipod burned his cell out..LMAO God broke his rod on the car and I heard that shit pop too it happen right after that lie left his mouth..he was fucked..I was cracking up..you can't play with fire and dont get burned. Oh Yeah his shit was coming to a end and maybe he knew or maybe he did not but it was coming and he never knew or expected when and how it was going down...But I did...Stay tuned to the Meeting that ended all of this shit finally and began my nightmare journey to healing. (The finally Part to this mess is next)