A DAY I RATHER FORGET...DAY TEN

DAMN!!!...Remind me to PINCH the person that came up with these blog topics for this challenge..LOL..I have many days I rather forget...but I am only going to tell you about one...Well if I have to pick one...There is one that sticks out the most..Brace yourself...my past was not pleasant at all...it is actually Lifetime movie worthy...Well by now from my previous blogs you all know I had a very dramatic past...Please don't read these blogs and feel sorry for me...that little girl was cracked..but not broken...that is why I am the woman I am today.... OK quit stalling Tracey...here we go...I was 14 years old and in my second foster home..I had become very close to the family...I was calling my foster mother Grand Ma and her grand kids that also stayed there my brother and sister...And then there was the Granddaddy...I could not bring myself to call him that...so for a whole year I would speak to him in passing and would not call him by any name....from a past experience I had become very cautious when it came to old men...I was a bad child...I got into all kinds of fights and was not doing well in the grades department either...I had a lot of anger in me and did not have a proper outlet..Shit kept happening to me and it seems it was all my fault...My real family thought I was the cause of all of the abuse that happen to me...(WHAT THE HELL KIND OF THING TO SAY TO A CHILD)...Any way I got kicked out of school for fighting again...my foster mother was at her wits end with me (this was at a time when foster parents were allowed to whoop the foster kids) so she said I am going to let Granddaddy handle you...of course I knew that meant I was going to get it with the belt...the whole day past he came home from work and did not say a word to me...nothing all night..I went to bed and I was thinking the coast is clear he is not going to touch me...To my surprise I was awaking early in the morning with a belt hitting my covers...I looked up and there he was standing over me telling me to get up...I did not move so he yanked the covers off me and started tearing my ass up..I jumped out of the bed and mind you I had on a gown with nothing under it...As I fell on the floor and my gown went up..he suddenly stopped and said go put your clothes on and then went back downstairs...I was so embarrassed and confused..I just crawled back in the bed all day...Days went by and no one said a word to me..I tried to avoid everyone...I was laying on the family room floor watching T.V. and he walked in..he stared at me and then went to sit in his chair...I went to get up and get out of his way and he said Stay there...I sat up but did not move he said you can lay back down like you were...I said I rather sit up...he kept staring at me..I was very uncomfortable...he looked at me and as I caught his eye he said I did not know you were so developed down there...I looked at him like down where...he said you are too big to get spank..I will never do that again..I am like OK..did not make me any difference been getting whooped all of my life...That was the end of that conversation..but as the days pasted he started coming upstairs to my room to see how I was doing and started taking me places with him and no one else..He would tell my foster mother I have work for her to do..we will be back...I was happy to help him because my foster sister told me he pays well...We would go clean buildings..this one day I was cleaning a building with him and he came in the office I was in and closed the door...I did not pay any attention I just kept working...He came over to me and wrapped his arms around me and started kissing my neck..I froze...(What do I do...What is he doing)...He kept kissing me and whispering in me ear..Don't Move..I want to show you what you do to me...I started shaking and he said don't be scared I Love you...I have been wanting to do this every since I saw your sweet pussy...I was scared..I started crying...he would not stop...I started scratching him...he would not stop...I was like please don't he would not stop...so I just stood there...once he saw I was calm he laid me down on the floor and started taking off my pants and then my underwear and then he did something to me that I never knew could be done...he started eating my pussy...he was sucking and licking and grabbing my ass tight..he kept moaning and I was crying...I could not stop crying...I was grabbing for something but it was not there..he thought I was enjoying it and it made him even more excited..he took off his pants very fast and said "I want you so bad I am going to bust"...He started talking to me telling me how it will feel..I became numb and I zoned out..I don't remember all of what he said to me because I was in another world...he entered me slowly and then all of the way and I SCREAMED...he started moving and covering my mouth telling me that if we got caught I was going to a girls home and be locked up for a very long time...I stopped screaming and just took it..it seem like it lasted a long time..he keep telling me how tight I was...He finally came and rolled off me..I could not move but knew I had too...he said hurry put your clothes back on I am going to take you to get something to eat....I was bleeding and wanted to go home...As days and even weeks past I became like a zombie...he started leaving little gifts under my covers...Was I losing it..What has happen to me...this man raped me and he keeps buying me gifts like I am his girlfriend...Every chance he got he would corner me in the basement or in the family room having sex with me making me suck his dick..I don't know what was wrong with me...I don't know why I did not tell..I just went with it...Then one day I got really sick and stayed sick for days...after a week of me throwing up my foster mother took me to the doctor and what he told her I thought she was going to have a heart attack right there in the room...The drive home was nothing but silence...we got to the drive way and before I got out the car she said stop...I want to know what the hell is wrong with you...Why did you do this...How can you go and get yourself PREGNANT !!..She was screaming and yelling at me calling me a dumb ass girl...I just yelled out it was your husband...she stopped and said WHAT...I said he has been having sex with me for months and told me if I said anything I was going to be locked up in a group home...She told me to get out the car and go to my room...I don't know what happen after that..I stayed in my room until she came upstairs and closed the door and said we cannot tell anyone about this...I am going to handle this and then she left...Two days past I was back in a different doctors office..but there was something different about this office...They put me in a room and told me to under dress and put my legs in the stir up...a nurse came in and gave me a shot..I started feeling dizzy but numb...All I remember was a doctor in between my legs and a humming noise...After I woke up in the recovery room..I ask the girl next to me what just happen to me...and she said you just had an Abortion...Age 14 will never be the same again...